Torn.

I am returning to a blog that has not heard from me in quite sometime. My apologies to those of you that do follow this blog.

I find myself torn. Torn between my relationship with the Lord, my relationship with a significant other and my relationships with my friends. I am struggling trying to find a balance in all of this. I feel they are all jumbled together and I am trying to sort it all out. How well am I doing in the sorting process you ask? I am trying and it definitely gets tough. I think I am writing here now because I once internalized a lot of feelings and frustrations... I don't particularly want to do that again knowing it hurt ones that I love. So here I am. Trying to find balance in life. However, currently I don't know what to think about all the relationships I mentioned above. I know 1 relationship is worth it, absolutely worth it. It is the other 2 that scare me. What if something happens that they don't like? Will they still love me? Will they still look at me through the eyes of my eternal Father? Will they still be around? Will they resent me? Am I good enough? Is there always going to be something wrong with me that causes tension? Am I going to get hurt? Am I going to hurt them? Why him? Why now?

Many questions obviously come to my cluttered mind. I know I am lost with out my relationship with the Lord. I am not really sure who I am if I do not turn to Him. So, this is the relationship I run to. The other 2 I don't know. It pains me to say that about them as well. People I love so much... that the thought of losing them in my life... well just is not that appealing to me.

I guess there is only one thing to do. Run to the One relationship that will not fail me. The one that will guide me in truth and love.

As for the other relationships... we will see where the Lord takes me.

Until then, discover what it is like to be amongst the wildflowers. You might discover beauty you never knew existed.